When progress invites toxicity — stories from academia

In academia, success can often feel like a double-edged sword. The higher you climb, the more complex the interactions around you seem to become. While one might expect recognition or support, success can instead attract subtle forms of hostility cloaked in polite words and ambiguous gestures. What’s most surprising is that these dynamics can emerge from individuals at all levels of the academic ladder.

It’s easy to dismiss these experiences as minor annoyances, but when they happen repeatedly, they start to take a toll. What people say and what they truly mean often becomes blurred and shaded, leaving you to interpret the real intent behind each word. You might find yourself in conversations where someone seems to be acknowledging your achievements, yet their praise feels more like a backhanded compliment — an attempt to simultaneously acknowledge and diminish your accomplishments. It’s this dissonance — when language is used to both lift you up and subtly put you down — that makes these interactions so insidious.

The Subtle Faces of Academic Bullying

There’s a form of academic hostility that rarely fits into the conventional definitions of open conflict or direct confrontation. Instead, it is much more covert and nuanced. For instance, one tactic involves the constant and almost obsessive emphasis on your successes. This isn’t genuine acknowledgment; rather, it’s often an attempt to undermine or provoke self-doubt. Are they sincerely recognizing your efforts? Are they questioning your achievements? Or perhaps they are suggesting, ever so subtly, that your successes aren’t as deserved as they appear? The ambiguity itself is what makes this approach so effective — and frustrating.

Then there are the random, completely out-of-context comments that sneak into discussions. Imagine being in the middle of a conversation about research methodologies, and someone abruptly interjects with a remark about a recent grant you secured or a paper you published — topics that have no relevance to the discussion at hand. It’s usually the same person making these comments, as if compelled to constantly comment on your work, even when it has no bearing on the topic. These interactions can leave you wondering, “Why do they care so much about what I’m doing?”

“Minding” Your Success: When Attention Turns to Obsession

What is perhaps even more perplexing is when people who aren’t in your immediate circle become fixated on your activities. They keep track of your projects, publications, and grants — remarking, sometimes casually, sometimes with thinly veiled hostility. You want to ask, “Why are you so concerned with what I’m doing? Focus on your own work!” But of course, in the hierarchical and often politically charged environment of academia, it’s rarely that simple. So, you nod, smile, and move on, trying to ignore the dissonance.

Then there’s the notorious “last-minute” tactic. You might have submitted your input months in advance, yet suddenly, everything is “urgent” and must be addressed at the last possible moment, throwing your carefully organized schedule into disarray. It’s as if this behavior is designed to remind you that no matter how proactive and organized you are, they can still wield control over your time and well-being.

The Language of Wellbeing: A Veiled Power Play?

Another unexpected element is the use of wellbeing as a tool for control. Well-meaning comments like, “Are you taking care of yourself?” or “You should prioritize your wellbeing!” may appear supportive at first glance, but in certain contexts, they can take on a more critical undertone. They can sometimes imply, “You’re overreaching” or “You’re not managing your time well.” I’ll admit, even I have used such language with the best of intentions, but it’s worth questioning: when do these remarks come from a place of genuine concern, and when are they meant to reinforce a power dynamic?

A classic example: “How do you do it all?” The insinuation is that you shouldn’t be able to achieve what you have, as if there’s something wrong with your approach. Well, the truth is that I don’t do it all. I focus on my strengths and I collaborate. I don’t try to do everything myself; I embrace the power of partnerships and draw on the expertise of others. So why is there a constant need to comment on my wellbeing? I talk enough about it with my therapist; do I really need to justify myself to you?

Hidden Agendas and Obscured Motives

These hidden agendas and passive-aggressive comments are what make navigating academia particularly exhausting. You never really know who’s genuinely interested in your work and who’s simply keeping tabs, waiting for a chance to undermine you. It’s a constant balancing act of professional relationships, where you have to read between the lines and decipher layers of meaning in every interaction. Is that smile one of camaraderie, or is it veiling something else? Is the praise genuine, or is it a reminder to stay in your place?

For me, these complexities hit particularly hard today. Perhaps it’s because I wasn’t able to pick up my little 2-year-old, which was supposed to be a simple, joyful part of my day. Instead, I’m here reflecting on how something as straightforward as doing your best work can bring out some of the most complicated reactions in others. I used to think that the more established I became, the easier things would get. But in reality, it feels like it’s becoming even more challenging. The stakes are higher, the scrutiny sharper, and the expectations for how you’re “supposed” to present yourself become even more rigid.

Creating a Transparent and Equitable Academic Culture

Why is it so difficult to create a more transparent and equitable academic environment? Why must academic spaces be dominated by subtle power plays and invisible hierarchies, where worth is measured by perceived power, connections, and compliance with unspoken rules?

It’s time we ask ourselves: what would it look like to build an academic community that truly values each other’s contributions and achievements without turning them into weapons of rivalry? How can we engage in discussions where the goal is to learn and grow, rather than compare and judge?

To anyone navigating similar challenges: These too shall pass. Keep focusing on what truly matters. Keep pushing forward, being yourself, and doing what you believe in. And if others seem overly concerned with your progress, that’s their issue, not yours.